Retrench

Since Cal learned to walk Cal has had problems with walking. Like everything in life and autism there are a lot of issues that add up to the full picture.  Here are what I think are the main contributing factors. Calvin is hypo-sensitive to physical stimuli.  It take a lot for him to register touch.  He has a crazy high pain tolerance and does not particularly mind falling down all the time.  He actually kind of gets a weird kick out of the rush. AKA sensory seeking.  This is an atypical characteristic of ASD and most people think of sensory avoidance if they think of anything about autism.    Sensory Seeking at about a year and a half This is part and parcel of a proprioceptive and vestibular dysfunction. Where the body is in space in relation to objects, maintaining balance and motor planning are problematic.  If you are in a room with Calvin you will know it immediately. The kid is very, very clumsy and wanders around like a caged animal and bumps into stuff.   Age

YOU GUYS!!! I'm going through my grandmother (Margaret Hara) boxes doing research for my writing project. I found the love letters that my grandfather wrote her in 1943 and 1944. how they needed to convince their parents to get married quick and his war postings. its so sweet and romantic and my grandfather had mad game. All of this while he was a flight instructor at Lambert Field. Than later stationed as a combat aviator in late 1943 and early1944 on the USS Lexington in the Pacific theater.  I will write about his astonishing military career extensively at a later date.  Just know that while all this romance was in his heart most men in his unit did not come back from their missions. Dating sometime in 1943 Jan 6, 1943 Wedding day in OKC, June 12, 1943 June 3, 1944 Most adorable somewhat dirty Grandparents note ever?

My Grandmother and my KT Hara were big time Tulsa boosters. For very different reasons and through their very different lens they loved the hell out of this town. They really felt that Tulsa didn’t or wasn’t getting the credit it was due. Grandma wanted to have respectability and belonging. She raised all her kids here and was determined to look the part of “established” Tulsa family. By established I mean families who have been here for awhile and everyone knows everyone else.  Money has a lot to do with it but not everything. If you were fun and stuck around town long enough you would be in like Flynn.  Grandma bottom left.  Her life work. Not pictured Shannon, Sean and Chris In my neck of the woods it was heavily centered on Monte Cassino and Cascia people. Since we are talking about Catholics that means a lot of kids. All the kids. My KT Hara wanted to make the point about Culture. The fancy high brow stuff.  Tulsa had it, damnit. She took me to Disney movies and bough

I often imagine how other families deal with challenges. What do you do when your kid gets sick and you have to work? What do you do when the cost of childcare is more than what you as an individual make? How do you get all the laundry done? I have little windows of understanding but mostly I am still left wondering how other people do the things. Do people cry as much in the bathtub as I do?  Do people think about other people crying in the bathtub as much as I do? I kind of hope people cry in the bathtub so I wouldn’t be the only one but that’s pretty fucked up to want.  Maybe I’m a sociopath?   My brain goes at 100mph is weird directions.  Especially under stress. I have never been so rapid fire funny as when I was giving birth to my kids. I was cracking jokes like my life depended on it. Because in a way it was.  I was dying on the inside from stress, worry and physical pain.  Instead of looking inward for strength and zen birthing from within whatever that is to push throu

Look I don’t want to say your dog is a bad dog.  I just want you to know that your dog isn’t the best dog.  Because my dog clearly holds that title.  Everyone is his best friend. All he wants to do is fetch stuff and hang out forever and ever Amen.  Waffles was a good call on my part if I do say so myself. Adorable! Hilarious! Majestic!  A++ would adopt Waffles again.

My Dad has put up my Grandmother’s house up for sale.  The irony of that is hilarious if you know the parties involved.  My Grandmother's life work is that house and everything arranged just so.  My father out of all his siblings was the rebel.  Or at least rebel-ish.  28 year old cool Dad on the right. That he is the keeper of that Goliath is a twist of fate that I would be amused by if it hadn’t come because my Aunt Mary has a horror show of a degenerative brain disease.  I would have been thrilled if Aunt Mary had foisted this French Country style run amok on my Dad to go retire in the actual French countryside.  Instead she is roommates with her mother in a memory center out in Claremore.  I have to think about it small amounts of time.  If I think about it too much my stomach starts to hurt and my breathing elevates. AKA panic attack.      My Grandmother is probably one of the most anxious people I have ever known.  Her house was her safe space.  She