Unstructured Time: Thunderdome

School scheduling is our happy place.  Kids know the expectations and the rhythm.  They would never admit it but they are much more comfortable in that routine as well. Everyone gets a break from each other. Everyone has different things to do but in safe places with familiar people. Room to breath. Copacetic.

I am admittedly not good at enforcing an internal structure. Or horrible at it.  F-

I should pray for the intersession of my high school's saint.  Saint Rita of Cascia: patron saint of lost causes, motherhood etc.

Sidebar: Ain't that a kick in the head.  Lost causes and motherhood.  Well played Vatican. Well played.

Example.The kids need to burn off the energy and get some fresh air.  I can have everything set up to go to the park.  One of them throws a fit about going to the park. I scrap the plan. Because I am a coward like that. I don't have the strength of character to say to pull off that coveted parental "My way or the Highway"vibe.

The whole point of the park is to have fun. If they don't want to go on the onset it won't be fun. I haven't been able to pick up and move Calvin since he was in kindergarten if he is having a meltdown in public. Ergo we don't go to the park.

They sense my scheduling apathy. "The school bus is pulling up to the house. Please put you coat on." works much better than "We are going to the library to enrich ourselves. Please put your coat on."

Concierge service happiness.

I have never run a tight of a ship. I'm not a tight ship type of person. I'm a lets see how things go and crack jokes along the way person.  This is not ideal in our version of a special needs household.  a) Improvising confuses everyone.  I'm asking kids what they want to do when I should be telling them what is happening. Then actually do the thing I said we are doing.  b) My awesome jokes are wasted on this crew.

Captain Ron is a funny movie.

Christmas break just happened.  We got through the first 4 or 5 days ok because negotiations about toys and Santa still work.  That leaves 8 days to fill. 8 freezing cold days. As the days go by polite society breaks down and we all go a little more feral.

Like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now.  But with less live ammunition and more YouTube.

Here I am on day 10 of the kids being out of school.

We lean heavy on screen time.  Which is robbing Peter to pay Paul.  The meltdown will happen later and be more severe but we have to get through the next 10 mins.  Kids start wanting to only have screen time and nothing else. There is lots of full body emoting. We don't have a lot of places to safely go.  Soooo house lockdown it is.

Sidebar: Did you know that kids love watching videos of people playing video games on YouTube.  It's horrible. 

Boys fighting or really anyone raising their voices in my home makes my skin crawl and my blood pressure sky rocket. It feeds into my panic and anxiety.  If I don't get rest and decompression time this cycle is where I live. If someone so much as sighs in a frustrated way I start wringing my hands and pacing my halls.

Fun

They start picking each other apart round the clock. They like the same things.  They gravitate towards each other.  They both want what the other has.  In of itself, I think this sentiment is pretty much the definition of having a sibling.  I know it was with me and my 3 siblings. The main difference here is that they start targeting each others sensory processing, physical and communication challenges.

This is the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.  Any special needs parent will know the distinction.

True Story.

Calvin has auditory sensitivity. Sam screams like a shrill banshee right in his face. Calvin tries to control the situation by putting Sam into a headlock which triggers Sam's touch sensitivity.  Shane or I have to break up the headlock and have to send everyone to their rooms to decompress. That takes a chunk out of our mental and emotion reserves.

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.  This is what I most miss about my own childhood. I had my own room. I could go in there and close the door and could just mind my own business. Heaven.

Calvin has gross and fine motor skill issues. Especially in our post Achilles tendon lengthening new world.   Sam has really, really good motor skills. He can grab something Calvin has been diligently working on and take off with a quickness.  Shane or I have to manage the ensuing meltdowns.  This takes another chunk out of our mental and emotional reserves.

Around and around we go. You get the idea.

As the days go on, we start hitting the end of our rope earlier and earlier in the day. Until its 24 hours of being completely tapped and over it.

We are back on the school schedule now.  I should have bought a bottle of champagne to pop right after school drop off.  It is better than a New Years toast.

Here are some pictures to prove it wasn't all bad.  And I am not a total negative Nancy/Grinch/Scrooge.

A friendlier sepia toned headlock.

Twas the night before Christmas. And all through the house. Melatonin was administered with conflicting results.

2 minutes of wrapping paper carnage.